Admit it or not, you love toilet humor, especially those age old fart jokes we used to giggle at when we were kids ;-) and I bet every one of you have laughed at least once in your lifetime..
Oh man!! You still do???
Well, here for your sick wits is a recollection of classic shitty fart moments. Yes! They’re crap, but hey, what the heck did you expect???
When I was younger, nothing could make me laugh harder than farts. I remember I watched a video of some dexterous Buddy on an HBO, stand-up special cleverly recreate fart noises in vivid realism. I laughed uncontrollably. My friend laughed so hard he actually got sick. There is just something about the way the air sliding between your butt checks and the noise it makes, people laugh. Not to mention the way they smell. Everything about a fart is funny!
There are different types of Farts and I seriously don’t know the names but I would like to explain those for whom I have done a lot of research and some which are created by myself ;-)
Farting while coughing – The whining noise of your lower chamber’s whistling, grounded by the noise of your coughing…
- Best way to Fart J
Sissy Fart - This fart is often characterized by a high whining noise, similar to the air being let out of a balloon real slow, with the rubber mouthpiece stretched real tight. The kind of fart a princess would do.
- Real men just don't do sissy farts!
Hanging time Fart – Hanging time is the time a fart lingers in a general area. A fart is said to have good hanging time if you can leave the room, like to go the restroom, come back and be hit by the same fart again.
- The best way to take revenge
Aachhoooohhhart - Aachhoooohhhart is where you sneeze “Aachhoooohh” and fart at the same time.
- Have short time duration & prevents from discomfiture
Bombart – It is an art of making different types of noise without using any of the instruments as it seems you are a starter. Simply use fart machine and notice different meseining face. Sometimes it is clumsy but it’s entertaining.
Pichhhart- Last but not the least. When one is in ill state and have no control on his gut movements, feel like pressure inside and when try to fart ultimately it pops out including….
There is an amazing story of how people do it in public place and veil from others…
I was in a marriage ceremony sitting on the couch, there was a kid (hippo) sitting next to me and a middle aged person next to him (hippo2). We were little uncomfortable as we all were having big bum (mine was comparatively smaller) and I am sure that disgusted couch was yelling at us “Bastards I am 100 year old have some mercy for me”.
Man (immediately asked kid loudly by sliding some noisy air from the valley between his checks): “HEY TU KISKA BETA HAI”…
Kid stared at him for few seconds, and gets busy with his Ice-cream again No response…
Man (again after 5 min with the same thing): “HEY TU KISKA BETA HAI”…
Kid with revolted look, Eyebrows up: hmm?
Man forgetting things, again busy in watching the ceremony.
Man (again after 5 min): “HEY TU KISKA BETA HAI RE”…
Kid(with irritated voice): “HUM KISI KA BETA HAIN, AAPKA KAAM TO HO GAYA NA??”
Convart: Loud conversation to conceal farting noise.
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